In my three years of teaching Stand-Up Comedy Clinic at Langara College, I've seen some amazing things happen. Though the course isn't intended as therapy, I've watched people overcome their fears, build confidence, and have personal breakthroughs as a result of taking it. One student even overcame her fear of flying. She told me that once she'd done stand-up in front of 200 people she felt like she could do anything.

So what is it about doing comedy that creates these kinds of experiences, and given that most people don't necessarily want to get up on stage, how do we apply these principles to everyday life?

As a counsellor in private practice for ten years, I've often thought that doing stand-up comedy had as many if not more benefits than therapy. And that's because stand-up comedy is based on being honest about who you are, taking your flaws, fears, neuroses, and crises, and turning them into an act. In stand-up comedy your weaknesses are your strengths. Good comedy is based on turning pain into laughter, and if you have no pain in your life, you have no act!

According to psychoanalyst Harvey Mindess, "The very act of making fun of our inferior position raises us above it." When we joke about our flaws, we create an inverse kind of superiority. Other people may be more accomplished or talented, but we're better at being less than them. In other words, Brad Pitt may be more successful and attractive than I, but I'm better at being a geek.

Furthermore, when we joke about our failings and inferiority, we laugh and then feel better, which is exactly what restoring our self-esteem is all about. Basically, using a positive coping mechanism like humor to make ourselves feel better builds our self-esteem. Unfortunately, people often resort to all sorts of unhealthy coping mechanisms like drinking, smoking, eating, overworking, etc. to make themselves feel good. And while these mechanisms may give them a short-term buzz, in the long run they undermine self-esteem, because deep down the users know they're doing something self-destructive.

So here's a tip for finding the humor in your life and using it to build self-esteem. This contrary attitude exercise is something I teach in my comedy course. You take something about yourself or your life that you consider negative, and talk about how much you love it, and why you love it. So the result might look like "I love being bald because other people can use my forehead as a mirror." Or "I love being stressed out because it reminds me of Christmas with the family." Maybe these jokes wouldn't cut it as part of Jay Leno's monologue, but they will give you a chuckle and make you feel better about yourself.

And don't stop there. How about "I love being Codependent because..." or "I love being a loser because..."

Email me at granirer@pro.net if you come up with something good and I'll publish it in my next e-zine! The prize for the best line is a copy of my poster "Twelve Steps For The Humorously Challenged."